From my Tumblr page

Monday, December 16, 2013

An unexpected Christmas gift

It's never been a secret in my family that I'm adopted. My parents explained to me when I was a wee kid that I was adopted and what it meant. And that was about it. I didn't really ever think twice about it, except for my rebellious teen years ("What?! I can't go the movie?! I'm gonna go find my REAL parents and they'll let me go!...")
In the last few years it has been on my mind a bit, but primarily for health reasons - I have no idea what my family medical history is. They only info listed in my adoption paperwork was that my grandmother had cancer, and my mom is allergic to animals (Go figure).

But even with that, I've never really been prompted to search out my history.

Then one day in October, I got a letter from the adoption agency. My birth mother was seeking me out.

Due to adoption laws in my home state as I was growing up, birth parents were not permitted to contact their children (even as an adult) in a closed adoption case. But recently, the laws have changed. Birth parents can request the agency contact the child on their behalf.

I've never kept my contact info up-to-date with the agency - I didn't know I was supposed to, or could have. As I'm of adult age, the agency couldn't contact my parents for my info. So they googled me and found my address.

I spoke with the agent on the phone where she told me the general first steps. My birth mother just wanted to know I was ok. The agency is not allowed to tell her anything without my permission. I told the agent she could say I was fine, then the agent asked if I had any questions in return; I told her I'd think about it.

A few days later, after lot of different exploding buried emotions, I sat down and figured a few questions I wanted answered and sent them to the agent.

A few weeks later, I got a written letter from my birth mother, forwarded from the agency.

I don't want to get into too many specifics here, but there are some notable points:

  • I have 2 brothers
  • My birth parents had me when they were in high school
  • They eventually were married and were together for over 20 years, but now divorced
    As Joe and I read the letter, she asked if I'm married and have kids. I turned to Joe - "Now we have another parent to nag us about marriage!"

    I replied with some general info; I also created an email address so we could communicate without going through the agent.

    Who knows where this will lead. Maybe it'll just be a couple of emails back and forth and will eventually drop off. Maybe we'll actually develop a friendly relationship.

    But one thing's for sure - I'm owed a lot of missed Christmas and birthday gifts....


    1. What a surprise! Incredible. I look forward to hearing more on this subject. Wish we were still in L.A. so we could go get a coffee or something! Amazing story.